I am living in the full impact of what happens when I don’t honor my word. I didn’t submit an update, which includes a plan for the week. The first thing that happened was that I felt worried and anxious. Almost immediately, those sensations were overtaken by a dramatic soaring swoop of guilt. I then became paralyzed with shame, so there was no way I COULD POSSIBLY do anything. And, much to my surprise, all of this landed me in a puddle of confusion. Interestingly, my ability to chronicle the series of emotions, sensations, and feelings did not seem powerful enough to snap me into action. The truth is, I wanted to wallow in it, or I wouldn’t have done it. What surprised me was the experience of being confused about it all.
I made no commitment, and I had NOTHING to live into I the area of well-being- no structure, no plan, no goals, and I was left completely disempowered. What got left in the space that I usually have my plan filling was self-loathing, hopelessness, and despair. I felt like the A student who suddenly flunked a class. But I am not doing this for a grade, and I forgot that. My commitment to myself and the Women Going Down is to lifelong well-being.
The good news is that this view of myself didn’t creep too hideously into all the areas of my life, as I am busy and productive at work. However, as I write this, I can see that I viewed myself as less powerful and confident across the board., and there certainly was an impact of not honoring my word, and, perhaps, not even making a commitment.
It’s what we commit to in this world that gives us life, love and joy.
I still have two days left to take on a new area- swimming. I inspired myself with my luxuriously aquatic collage last week. So the only one preventing me from languishing in the most sumptuous of media is moi.
I made no commitment, and I had NOTHING to live into I the area of well-being- no structure, no plan, no goals, and I was left completely disempowered. What got left in the space that I usually have my plan filling was self-loathing, hopelessness, and despair. I felt like the A student who suddenly flunked a class. But I am not doing this for a grade, and I forgot that. My commitment to myself and the Women Going Down is to lifelong well-being.
The good news is that this view of myself didn’t creep too hideously into all the areas of my life, as I am busy and productive at work. However, as I write this, I can see that I viewed myself as less powerful and confident across the board., and there certainly was an impact of not honoring my word, and, perhaps, not even making a commitment.
It’s what we commit to in this world that gives us life, love and joy.
I still have two days left to take on a new area- swimming. I inspired myself with my luxuriously aquatic collage last week. So the only one preventing me from languishing in the most sumptuous of media is moi.
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