What do you mean, ENJOY life?

Because I am traveling again this week, I first and foremost thought I would need to focus on water consumption, and choosing the “lesser of all evils meals in restaurants. Even in how I was prioritizing, it is evident how tainted my own self-talk about managing my fitness and weight is. The way I was thinking about meals, and how I could possibly get some exercising in lives in the world of “I have to”. My response to anything couched overtly or covertly in those terms is “You can’t make me”, and boy do I see how resistant I am. I have not been producing the results I said I was going to produce, and I have been feeling like I am suffocating in unwillingness.

My husband asked me the other day if it (my participation in WGD) was supposed to make a difference in the lives of spouses and/or family members in terms of their weight /fitness/health. Immediately, I was really pissed off at him FOR ASKING. That was a tip-off that I didn’t want to be responsible for the answer. In short, I am guessing (not having had the experience yet) that my way of being that was generated by my commitment to what I am doing would make a difference for others. And that is what WGD is about. I still have the conversation in the background that “it’s hard to lose weight”, and that’s really where my commitment has been.

So, I was in the book store at the airport, and I noticed a couple of new books that could possibly be shelved in the “dieting” section in a mega-bookstore. Books like these may be taking the place of regimens and prescriptive diet plans. Two that I saw were Skinny Bitch and French Women Don’t Get Fat. These two books appear to be a little different , in approach, at least. They’re more anecdotal than prescriptive. I bought the French Women book, because I lived in Paris, and by golly, I didn’t see any fat Parisiennes.The purchase was made after some reflection to see if I was buying it from the same fix-it mode as I would any self-help book. I started to peruse it, and was entertained and pleased, actually, that it was about attending to the enjoyment of life, and food is a big part of living….Therein lies my focus for this week- I will attend to ENJOYING how my body feels when I exercise, not being driven by the thought that I “have to”, and enjoying the experience of being satisfied after I eat: not stuffed, or heartburny, but nourished and comfortable.